No Longer Home
by siredtodamonn
Summary: My take on what could have happened when Scully left Mulder. Before Season 10


**This is my first fanfiction so I am sorry if it isn't as good as most of the other amazing X Files writers on here. But at least I tried, right?**

 **Anyway, enjoy reading xx**

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This was the last straw.

Scully has been trying to get Mulder to come out of his disgustingly messy office for days now. But he is hell-bent on proving that the government is planning some big scheme to ' _take over the world'_. Even after 24 years of doing so, he still thinks he has something to prove. No matter how many times he or Scully have been so close to death ( and Mulder actually dying), he _still_ searches for the truth. Scully had thought that once they were on the run in early 2002 that he would finally settle down with her and try to lead a somewhat normal life. It lasted a while, a lot longer than she thought it would have. But now...he's in deeper than he has ever been before. He hasn't left his office in days and hasn't said one word to Scully since she got home from the hospital earlier this evening, and she just couldn't take it anymore.

She has felt so lonely lately and so afraid that this time, she won't be able to pull Mulder out of whatever dark hole he has dug himself into.

She sighs and slowly opens to door to Mulder's office, seeing him hunched over his desk and surrounded by endless amounts of photographs and newspaper articles on what she assumes is his evidence about 'the truth'. She leans against the doorframe and watches him for a few minutes. Scully was almost certain that Mulder was so engrossed in whatever he was reading that it would take a bomb to explode for him to finally look up.

"Mulder...come to bed" Scully says in a quiet voice. He does not seem to have heard her, so she speaks a little louder this time.

"Mulder, come to bed" She touches his shoulder and immediately feels him tense up and turn around quickly, as if she had scared him. He was completely oblivious to the world around him. This hurt Scully, but what hurt her the most was to see his beautiful hazel eyes which once held hope, compassion and love, were now a dull grey amd empty void. Mulder was not his old self anymore and Scully missed him.

After the 'end of the world' fiasco in 2012, Mulder had started to show signs of being depressed. Scully had desperately tried to help him as much as she could, and being a medical doctor meant that she had the ability to supply him with medication that could possible help with his situation. At first he refused to take the pills, saying that he was fine and he didn't need them. But he soon realized that Scully was right, he really did need help. Which is why he decided that it would be best for him to to the pills, and he did so for the next two years.

"Mulder please, we haven't spoken in days...I miss you" She whispered the last part as her eyes became glazed over with tears. She couldn't cry, not now.

Mulder sighed heavily and stood up from his chair. Scully had thought he was going to follow her into their bedroom but instead he made his way to the kitchen where he proceeded to fill his glass with whiskey, which Scully noticed was almost empty, even though she had just bought it three days prior.

"Have you been taking your medication?" She follows him cautiously into their kitchen and presses her back against the cool granite counter.

Mulder laughs humorlessly, "No I haven't. I don't need any damned pills anymore Scully! I feel absolutely fine."

He finishes his glass of whiskey and turns around to pour another glass. Seeing this, Scully grabs the bottle and puts it behind her back and out of his reach.

"What the hell are you doing Scully?! Give it back to me" He almost yells out at her which she would never admit, frightening her slightly. But being the strong woman she knew she was, she held her ground.

"No Mulder I have had enough of this behaviour! You haven't spoken a single word to me for days now and you haven't come to bed for that long as well. I'm sick of having to baby you and pretend that everything is okay when it clearly is not!" She cries out and puts her hands over her face. Finally, her tough exterior breaks and all that is left is a fragile woman in need of love from Mulder.

Scully turns around and heads into their bedroom, preparing to have another restless night. Mulder's shoulders drop in defeat and he is overcome with a wave of guilt that he knows he earned. This moment showed Mulder how much he has messed things up and how much he has hurt her. He doesn't deserve her, he has known this for a long time. Why would a woman as amazing as her want to be with someone as crazy as him? He knew he was lucky to have her and sometimes he took that for granted. He sets his glass down and sits on the stool on the other side of the counter. He runs his hands through his thick, brown hair and wonders when everything in their relationship began to crumble. Not wanting Scully to see him so upset, he covers his face with his hands and lets out a silent sob that has been threatening to come out every since Scully had her little outburst. He loved her so damn much, he would kill _anyone_ who hurt her in anyway. But now...he was the one that had hurt her, and knowing his made him feel like absoulte crap. Mulder was supposed to be her protector. He was supposed to save her from all the hurt and pain. Yet, at this very moment, she is in their bed silently wishing to be anywhere but here. He wanted to make things right with her, starting with an apology which he was almost certain she would not accept. But he had to try.

A few moments later, Scully hears Mulder enter their bedroom. He sheds his clothes and climbs under the covers next to her. There is an uncomfortable silence between the two of them as Scully faces away from Mulder, and he lies on his back, looking up at the ceiling. All she can hear is the shallow and shaky breathes being taken by her as she wills herself not to cry. She then feels a rough, warm hand warily slide across her waist and pull her into a firm chest. He breathes out the breath that he had been holding since he got into bed and puts his face in the crook of her neck.

"Scully...I-I'm so, so sorry baby. I know it has been rough for us in the past, but this time I've really messed up and I am truly sorry" Mulder whispers into her ear, his voice cracking as if he is about to cry.

"I know you're sorry Mulder. But that doesn't make things any better" Scully breathes out.

Once again, they are met with deafening silence, and that is how it remains for the rest of the night.

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 **Next Morning**

It doesn't matter if he apologised or not. This was something that Scully had to do for the both of them. They needed time apart, for how long, she did not know. All she knew was that it was time to take a break from one another.

She carefully removed the hand that held a tight grip around her waist and got up from the bed. Scully began to pack anything she thought essential to take with her, wherever she may go. She wanted to leave before Mulder woke up in an attempt to avoid anymore heartbreak. She was afraid that if she told him she was leaving him that the look on his face would make her change her mind and she couldn't have that happen.

Scully froze as she heard slight rustling from their bed, indicating that Mulder was waking up. She panicked and for a moment thought she may have enough time to walk out of there before he was awake.

"Scully?" A gravely and tired voice questioned. Scully closed her eyes and inwardly groaned. _This was not supposed to happen_ , she thought.

"Scully why are you packing your suitcase?" He questions again, this time wide awake and slightly concerned.

"I'm sorry Mulder but this is what is best...for both of us. I was serious last night when I said that I have had enough."

Tears begin to well up in her cerulean blue eyes and this time she cannot fight them as they trail down her cheeks and onto her neck. She furiously wipes them away as if she is angry with herself for not being stronger.

Mulder could've sworn he had just died. His heart quite literally stopped beating. Their house was so quiet and he was sure that Scully could hear his heart breaking, shattering into a million pieces.

"Wha-what? Scully no! Please" He flings himself out of bed to bend down on his knees near her feet.

"I'm so sorry Scully. Please just don't leave me. I couldn't bare it _"_ A sob escapes from the back of his throat as his hazel eyes appear glistening with tears.

Scully takes his hands in hers and pulls him up off the ground. She presses the pads of her thumbs to his cheeks and slowly wipe away the tears which escaped.

"I'm sorry too Mulder" She says as she picks up her suitcase and heads for the door. Mulder stays in his spot in their bedroom, not moving and in complete and utter shock of what was happening. When he hears the front door opening, he snaps out of his shock and hurries to catch up with her. He grabs her arm and turns her around to face him. The look on Mulder's face in almost unbearable. He looks so broken, more broken than he has ever been. Scully desperately wants to forgo her plan and run into his arms once again, but she has to stay strong - for herself and for Mulder. She pulls her arm from his tight grasp and places a hand on his cheek.

"It'll be okay Mulder. You- You'll be okay"She sniffs and turns around and walks down the porch stairs while carrying her suitcase. She doesn't look back, she can't. If she does, she's afraid she'll never do what needs to be done.

Before she reaches her car, she hears Mulder mutter an "I love you"

 _I love you too Mulder, more than you know._ She thinks to herself.

Scully gets into her car and looks out to the porch where Mulder stands, leaning against the railing. Suddenly, as if the gods are completely against him today, the sky opens up and rain begins to pour down heavily. The rain soaks through Mulder's clothes and disguises his tears which are now freely running down his face.

Scully puts the car into drive and without looking back, she drives down the dirt road and into a different life. A life without the X-Files and a life without Mulder. Although the wind is blowing and the rain is cold, Mulder does not feel it. In this moment, all he feels is pain.

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 **Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it. Please review my story as I would like to continue writing and some feedback could really help.**


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